There is nothing more glorious in life than to get the man you love, and to enjoy happiness with him that seems to last a lifetime. However, there are many mistakes that women commonly make which tend to drive their man away.
Some of these might be glaring mistakes, while others might be subtle, and which wear away a relationship over time. While a man might put up with these in the initial stages of the relationship, as time passes, these traits could end up turning him away from you. Elaborated below are five of the biggest turn offs for men. Read more on these and introspect so as to ensure that you do not drive your man away in the long run.
Trying To Change Him
Men really hate it when women try to change them. Of course, when they really like a woman, they would want to change themselves in order to please her. However, forcing them to change the way they are is a sure turn off. If you want to get your guy to stay with you, do not try to change him.
While it is okay to try to get him to get rid of obnoxious habits and attitudes, do so in a mild manner, without sounding like you want to change him. An occasional suggestion is fine. However, constantly harping on his flaws and trying to make him give up things that matter to him, just because they do not matter to you, is a definite turn off.
Over-Planning For The Future
“And they all lived happily ever after.” This is a common line at the end of fairy tales, and many women try to fill in their own interpretations into what the word “happily” actually could involve. They weave the entire future in their minds, including where they would stay, how many children they would have – and even go so far as planning the lives of their children.
Then, on one fine day, the entire story comes tumbling out to their man, who is still not too sure as to whether he even wants to get married or not. This is a sure way to put him off. While it is natural to fantasize about the future, avoid over-doing it. Or, even if you do make big plans for the future, avoid dumping these on your man and scaring him away. Over-planning for the future can make a man feel trapped, thereby making him want to escape from you at the earliest.
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Most women feel that men do not grow up and that they just don’t seem to see the world in a mature way. Of course it might be annoying when your man just cannot clean up after himself. And yes, it will definitely be a huge source of irritation for you when your man cancels on a date occasionally in order to spend time with his buddies.
If this happens, avoid the temptation to find fault with him. While most men accept correction, they definitely would not want you to sound like their mother. Your man would always want to be the “big guy” where you are concerned. He definitely would not want you to treat him like a little boy, even if he behaves like one.
Therefore, avoid the temptation to find fault with him all the time. Apart from this, do not overlook thoughtful deeds. Many women tend to find fault with their man just because they didn’t get the sort of love they wanted. However, they do not see that their man is trying to love them with all he has. Constantly finding fault with your man for what he does or what he doesn’t do, is bound to push him away in the long run.
Men might act like little boys at times. However, you need to accept the fact that they are adults, and you need to avoid the temptation to mother them around. Mothering them is the job of their mother – not you! If you try to do everything for him, you will make him feel useless in the long run, and you will end up smothering him while mothering him.
Therefore, while it is good to do things for your man and help him out, do not take on the job of doing absolutely everything for him. If you really have to do things for your man, look for ways in which you can do it, without invading his personal space or leaving him with nothing to do.
Smothering your man would also include showering him with constant gifts, constantly taking every chance you get to tell him that you love him, and also finding things to do for him, even if he didn’t ask you to do so. If you smother a man, he will be more likely to want to get out of the relationship.
Neediness And Clinging
So you might have been betrayed in the past by other men and you might be afraid of rejection. This is no reason to dump all your insecurities on your present boyfriend. If you are too needy, you will drive him away. Men love to be the “strong” person in a relationship and be there for their women. They love solving your problems and they love giving you a listening ear. However, crying to him all the time and clinging to him will just drive him away.
Every man understands that you have a past – probably a past that haunts you. However, if you cling to him out of fear of losing him and if you assume that he’s going to leave you each time he walks out the door or spends time with his friends, then your relationship will be short-lived. Give your man some space and he will be more than happy to stay on in your relationship. While it is okay to feel dejected because of past insecurities, being happy around your man will make him feel good around you. A smile on your face means much more to him than wiping away your tears.