Several movies and TV shows out there regularly show us some of the funniest and quirkiest ways to propose to someone. And I’m sure most of us would have tried at least a couple of those ideas when we wanted to propose to someone special. However, not many movies and shows out there feature completely quirky ways to break up with that someone.
Think about it! When you were able to rack your brains and come up with a really bizarre idea for a proposal, why not apply some creativity to a breakup as well? Instead of being so formal about the entire thing, why not think about something that would sound extremely funny, and would possibly let you escape without getting unscathed in the process?
Here are some of the funniest ways in which you can break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Remember this folks! The points mentioned below may hurt some, especially those at the receiving end of the ideas. However, it is to be noted that these points do not intend to hurt anybody’s sentiments, and should be taken lightly by the reader. Here we go!
Funny Break Up Ideas
Get an Amnesia Attack
This one should definitely do the trick. Fake an injury to your head and act bedridden for a few days. When your boyfriend/girlfriend comes to meet you, act as if you don’t recognize him/her. Of course you would also have to act as if you don’t know the others around him/her as well (including some of your friends).
Put up this act for a few days. Avoid him/her at all costs, be it at home or outside. Be gentle at first when you tell him/her that you hardly remember him/her let alone your relationship with him/her. If he/she becomes too persuasive, become a bit firm and ask him/her to leave you alone as you have no clue of what happened between the both of you. He/she would try convincing you for a while and then move on for sure.
There are some who tattoo themselves to please their partners. And then, there are some who tattoo themselves just to invoke a feeling of hatred in everybody around them. Join the second category and get a tattoo of something your boyfriend/girlfriend completely abhors. Worse yet, get it done in a place which would revoke him/her the moment you take your clothes off (possibly your genitals). He/she would definitely bring up the topic of a breakup before the end of the week.
Express a Change in your Sexual Preferences
Another one of those reasons that would have your boyfriend/girlfriend rushing out of the door before you can even open it! During subsequent dates, start talking about someone you found really interesting. This person has to be the same sex as you are.
Keep talking about how you feel enamored by this person. Your conversation should slowly turn sexual in nature, giving your boyfriend/girlfriend a doubt about your sexual preferences. And then bang! Break it to him/her. Set up a date and tell him/her that you enjoyed your days as a couple but you don’t feel attracted to him/her anymore.
When he/she asks you the reason, tell him/her that your mind is infested with dreams of the other person and that know that you have become gay/a lesbian. Wait and watch as he/she dashes for the door the moment he/she hears this!
Tell him/her you are becoming a Nun/Father
This one may be a bit sensitive to handle, but can work out well if planned properly. Start asking him/her to take you to churches or other religious places more often. Transform your room (if he/she visits it regularly) into a deeply religious area. Keep yourself engrossed in religious books.
Cite religious examples frequently in your conversations. Keep on telling him/her that you have become increasingly attracted to the religious way of life and would want to devote the rest of your life to your religion and its teachings. He/she would get the idea that he/she has no room in your heart or future. And that would prompt him/her to take the first step.
Tell him/her you are part of a Witness Protection Program
It doesn’t get better than this! Tell your boyfriend/girlfriend that you witnessed a gruesome murder involving a mafia drug lord in your neighborhood. Build up a convincing story of how you decided to do your duty to the country as a law abiding citizen by becoming a witness willing to testify against the drug lord in court.
Tell him/her that in order to keep you and your testimony safe, the government has put you under the Witness Protection Program which would mean that you need to let go of everyone near and dear, including him/her. Explain (don’t forget to fake it by crying or sobbing at regular intervals in between) that a relationship would possibly endanger his/her life and you cannot let that happen. Depending on how well you play your part, your boyfriend/girlfriend would be willing to leave you by the end of the day.
Stuff him/her and then Break Up
This may work well for foodies. Take your boyfriend/girlfriend to a restaurant he/she likes. Ask him/her to order anything he/she wants. When the food arrives, make sure your boyfriend/girlfriend stuffs himself/herself to the point he/she is even unable to move an inch.
Now break the news to him/her and just walk away (don’t forget to pay the bill though as a token of your gratitude for the relationship). He/she would too full to even argue with you, let alone follow you in an attempt to sort things out.
Here Are Some Not So Funny But Still Very Effective Ways To Break Up With Someone.
Set your Voicemail to Give him/her a Message
One of the subtlest ways to break up with somebody without even talking to him/her is to record a message in your phone’s voice mail folder. Connect your partner’s call to the voicemail so that his/her call gets forwarded to it automatically. This way, when he/she calls you, all he/she would get to hear is your recorded voice saying it’s over between you two.
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Change your FB Status
Another funny way to break up with someone is to change the FB status to ‘single’ again. By doing so, you would be letting your partner (and the rest of the world) know that everything’s finished between you two.
You can also upload a breakup message in a blog he/she frequently visits. Send him/her a message to check your work on the blog. He/she would definitely come across your work and your breakup message.
Ask your New Boyfriend/Girlfriend to Break the News to him/her
What better way to let your partner know that you want to break up than telling him/her that your new boyfriend/girlfriend does not like you speaking to other girls/boys?
Better yet, you can ask your new boyfriend/girlfriend to introduce himself/herself to your partner and then break the news to him/her.
Blame your Parents
The classic tale of parents not agreeing to a match can work in your favor. If you want to break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend, put up a long face and remain silent. When he/he starts prodding you, tell him/her that your parents found out about your relationship and threw a fit.
Explain in between sobs how your parents threatened to throw you out or kill themselves if you so much as decided to meet your partner again. Cook up the story with enough conviction for your partner to believe that breaking up would be the best option for both of you. And what do you know? Before the end of the meeting, your partner would willingly opt out of the relationship.
Send an email to Yourself from his/her Account
You would probably have access to one or more of his/her personal email accounts. When the timing is right, send yourself an email from his/her account, stating that he/she wants to break up with you. Try adding some reason for the same (ex: another affair or loss of interest).
Confront him/her the next day with a printout of the email you supposedly received from him/her. Act as if you were completely shocked by his/her email and that if he/she wanted to break up, he/she could have just told you. Then walk away without giving him/her a chance to explain anything.
Move and Forget to Tell him/her
You know you are moving. And you want to break up with your partner. What better way to do this than to just move and ‘forget’ to inform him/her about the same? Block his/her phone number on your cell phone. Block his/her profile on every one of your social networking profiles. And last of all, change your number once you reach the new location. He/she would definitely not be able to find out where you are. But he/she would definitely get the message that you wanted to break up. And that should be more than enough!