You had thought he would be with you for the rest of your life. You had shared your deepest feelings with him. And now he suddenly breaks up and doesn’t even seem to care about your existence. If you’re going through this phase, it is understandably a very painful time for you. However, this does not have to be the end of the world. You are strong enough to get over this.
Don’t let the breakup cripple you. Here are 5 important tips that can help you bounce back on track and rise above the hurt.
Tips to Bounce Back After Your Boyfriend Breaks Up With You
Give the Relationship a Closure
The biggest problem with a boyfriend suddenly breaking up is that you just don’t get any time to process your feelings. Why did he do this? Why didn’t he want to work it out? Are you really such a loser? These are thoughts that might be flooding your head right now.
The best way to get over these thoughts is to give the relationship some kind of closure. Call your ex-boyfriend and ask him if you both can meet for the last time and say a happy good bye. This will be very tough for you to do because you may not want to say good bye. However, you will have to do it – try to fix a meeting with him to give a closure to the relationship. During the closure, do not give way to emotions. Make an effort to be aware and calm and ask him what happened and what went wrong.
Listen to him even if he tries to label accusations against you and make sure you don’t pick up a fight. This is important because it will help you understand what went wrong in the relationship. Also make sure you express your thoughts about the break up in a calm way. While you both may never be together again, expressing yourself for the last time will help you handle the break up more easily.
When you get home, take a piece of paper and write down your thoughts. If you are very angry with your ex-boyfriend, vent out your anger on paper. Write down everything you feel. Then write down what went wrong in this relationship. Don’t blame yourself – you know you are a good person. However, write down how there were compatibility issues – and what didn’t work out. This writing is important because it will help you handle your emotions in a calm way without hurting yourself.
If your boyfriend refuses to give a closure or refuses to meet at all, in that case too, write down all your feelings on paper. Keep writing until you feel you have expressed yourself completely. Writing is a great way to channel the intense emotions a break up brings in. After you are done, try to release and let go of your boyfriend. Try to forgive him in your heart. Of course this will be very difficult and you may not feel like forgiving him at all. But still, even trying is important because the more resentment you hold on to, the more you will suffer in the coming days.
Do a Lot of Things That Make you Genuinely Happy
The days immediately after the break up have to be dealt with very carefully. After you have given some sort of closure to the relationship, make sure you distract yourself and spend a lot of time doing things that make you genuinely happy. What are those things that you’ve always wanted to do but put on a back burner because of your relationship? Now is the time to do them!
Do you want to volunteer? Or join a dance class? Or learn cooking? Or painting?
Go ahead and immerse yourself in tons of activities that excite you. This might seem difficult initially but go ahead and do it anyway. You see, just like we don’t like waking up in the morning, we don’t like coming out of our sadness for a while. However, once you shake yourself and start doing something you like, you’ll immediately feel more joyful and happy.
Come, make a list of activities you want to take part in and jump!
Catch Up With Tons of Friends
When you are young, relationships tend to be intense and they don’t leave much time for friends. This is your time to catch up! No matter what, don’t let yourself be alone for a long time. Note that when you are alone, your thoughts will naturally drift towards the past. Meet a lot of people you’ve neglected. Try to help them and participate in activities with them.
Having friends around will help you feel cheerful and you might even forget the breakup for a while. If you haven’t been in touch with many people since a long time, that’s not a problem either. Go ahead, dial their numbers and ask them when they can meet. Most people will be very happy to see you after a long time.
Don’t Get Into a Rebound Relationship
One tendency that you need to avoid after a breakup is the tendency to get into a rebound relationship. Immediately after a breakup, we all feel alone for a while. This makes us feel like we desperately need a partner – any partner. And this can make us feel attracted to a person who might not be compatible with us at all!
Be careful and stay single for atleast some time after your breakup. You might feel alone but don’t try to fill that void with another relationship. Try to heal that void through activities that make you happy and interactions with friends. The problem with a rebound relationship is that sooner or later you will come to terms with the fact that you’ve gotten into a new relationship only because you were missing your ex-boyfriend. That will be unfair to the new partner and you will also then feel even more incomplete.
The lesson here is – relationships are off bounds for a while!
Re-evaluate Your Life and Treat This as an Opportunity
While your boyfriend breaking up with you can be extremely painful, the truth is that you can also take this as a great opportunity to change your life. Painful events like breakups and the death of loved ones are opportunities to really figure out what kind of a person you want to be and what your priorities are.
Ask yourself the deeper questions like:
What do I truly want to do with my life?
What lessons about relationships have I learnt?
How can I take this breakup as an opportunity to make my life better than ever?
This is the time when you can bring in some new habits in your life like – exercising, reading, pursuing a hobby etc. Grab the opportunity and plunge yourself into the life you’ve always postponed living.
These 5 points may not take your pain away – and that is not the aim of this article either. However, the aim is to let you know that you are stronger than the pain. You can not only deal with it but make sure you use it to create an amazing life. Sometimes, life gives us painful situations to make us stronger and help us become better than we are.
This is not the end, this is a new beginning. Go for it!