Just as things were moving along perfectly and you felt that they couldn’t get any better, everything began falling apart. The next thing you knew was that you were no longer a couple and you were dumped. You moved through a range of different feelings – disbelief, shock, hurt, anger, rage, and then back to hurt and disbelief. If there were serious problems in the relationship and if these were beyond healing, then it would be better to let go.
However, if you know that there was just a slight misunderstanding, then it would be practical to take steps to get your boyfriend back. There are a number of reasons why men dump women. However, getting your guy back involves just two ways – the sweet way or the smart way. You can be really sweet and wait around for him to come back.
You probably feel that there would come a point of time some day when he would realize that the two of you are meant to be together, and will come back to you, and you will gladly wait for that day. Well, that’s one way of going ahead with it. A smarter way of getting him back is, on the other hand, to turn his own idea against him.
Reverse psychology is a technique that has been quite successful in getting back boyfriends who decided to either play the field or who began to take their women for granted. Before trying this, though, you need to keep in mind that you should first be sure as to whether you really want your boyfriend back.
It would not be a decent thing to play with his mind just to get him back and then dump him. The point of using reverse psychology to get your guy back is to just get him to realise that you still do share a bond together and that your problems can be sorted out – if he works with you on giving it another chance.
Some people might feel that using reverse psychology is an underhanded thing and that messing with your man’s mind is not a sign of true love. Well, that is true to a certain extent. But again, it depends to a large extent on how you use it.
Use Of Reverse Psychology
The use of reverse psychology lies to a large extent on pushing your man’s emotional hot buttons. Your man pushed your emotional hot buttons by dumping you. That is why, when the breakup first happened, you cried, ranted, raved, begged and stormed around, just to get another chance.
You are just going to turn the focus from off yourself and on to him, making him feel that he was dumped instead. Keep in mind that, except in extreme circumstances, a guy doesn’t lose feelings for you overnight. A dumper also goes through a rough time after a breakup.
The first thing that you need to do is, agree with the breakup. Rather than beg him to reconsider and take you back, tell him that you agree with him and that this was probably the best move for both of you. This is the first shocker that you would be giving him.
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After all, if you were in a relationship for quite some time or if you had strong chemistry between the two of you, your man might feel that he knows you very well. He would be completely sure that you would be sitting around waiting for him to come back. By agreeing with the relationship, you take away a part of the control over the breakup from your man. This makes him unsure of where he stands.
The next thing that you need to do is, avoid keeping in touch with your guy too much. Agreeing with him about the breakup and also reducing contact, will surely make his mind go wild wondering whether he has really lost you. When you do speak, keep your conversations friendly but with a difference. Appear happy to be on your own. This change in attitude toward him will push him to think about you much more than you realize.
Next, get a makeover. This does not mean that you need to completely change yourself so that he does not recognize you. Go in for a makeover that compliments your looks and makes you look more attractive. Make a few modifications to your wardrobe and get a few more attractive clothes. Try a new shade of lip colour and invest in new shoes with medium heels. Heels will make you look more confident when you walk. Ensure that your guy sees you after your new look, preferably from a distance while you are with friends.
The next thing that would be essential is to make a few changes to your social life. Hang out with friends and make an attempt to go out on a date or two, making sure that your man gets to find out about it. You do not need to be blatant about it and flaunt your date in his face.
You can ensure that he gets to know about it by “casually” running into any of his friends while you are with your date. Or, if you still are linked on social networking sites like Facebook, a simple post on your wall can convey the message.
By this point of time, your man’s mind would be connecting the fact that you were agreeable with the breakup to the dates on which you have gone, and he might be wondering whether he was too hasty in breaking up with you. He might even be wondering whether you jumped at the first chance you got so that you could move on.
In some cases, he might even feel that you pushed him to break up with you so that you could find someone else. Oh yes! You have begun to push his emotional hot buttons by using reverse psychology. You man begins to feel like the one who was dumped and not the dumper. From here on, it is just a matter of time before he picks up the courage to ask you to give him another chance in a relationship with him.