There are two quotations that you would have, no doubt, heard quite often. The first one is “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” The second one is “Out of sight is out of mind.” Well, which one stands true in the case of a long distance relationship?
This question is often pondered upon by many, as they would dearly like to know whether distance will bring them closer to their loved one, or, would it cause a breach that may never be healed.
The truth is that both these quotations stand true in a long distance relationship. However, it is up to you and your loved one to choose to put in effort to make it work and draw the two of you closer to each other, or, to not put in effort and allow the fulfilment of the second quotation.
A long distance relationship implies to a relationship in which a couple is apart for either a short period of time due to a temporary change in circumstances, or, where a couple lives apart, probably in two different geographical locations, and are dating each other with a long-term relationship in view.
Making this relationship work is quite a challenge. However, it is definitely possible. The following points will help you with ways in which you can keep a long distance relationship alive and make it work.
Look At The Positive Side Of Things
It is true that a long distance relationship can be quite a difficult thing to deal with, especially if the separation is prolonged. Looking at the positive side of things will help you avoid sinking into a quagmire of depressive thoughts and feelings. For example, consider how the separation will benefit the two of you.
You will get to know how strong your relationship was, because you will know then whether this is really the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, even though you don’t get to be with him or her all the time. When you are in a long distance relationship, the reality of distance is very clear to both of you. Therefore, you do not take the other person for granted.
You put in extra effort to show that you are committed to the relationship. This builds it up. You get a chance to get to know the other person better without the factor of physical intimacy being on the list. Therefore, you get to figure out whether you are really in love, or whether you are just physically attracted to the other person.
Find Innovative Ways To Keep In Touch
Keeping in touch need not be limited to traditional methods such as phone calls, e-mails, text messages and instant messaging. Think of ways in which you can make your relationship more exciting and stronger. For example, why not create a book of memories and send it along to your loved one? Or, you could try writing a letter instead of an e-mail. Well, of course letters tend to take a lot of time and that’s the reason why it is referred to as “snail mail”.
However, this does have its advantages. A letter is something that you have touched – that your hand moved over as you wrote. The words on the letter speak of you much more than an e-mail could. Receiving an unexpected letter is sure to surprise your loved one. Instead of an electronic card, try sending across a real greeting card. For good measure, add a drop or two of your perfume on to the card to definitely get your loved one remembering you fondly and wishing you were there.
Photo Credit- Pressewoche.de
Communication is vital in all relationships, and especially in a long distance relationship. Take time to speak to each other regularly, and have meaningful conversations. There is a difference between talking and speaking, and hearing and listening.
To make communication meaningful, you need to talk from your heart, and listen with your heart. Do not be passive. Rather, take an interest in the other person and let your conversation transcend minor irritations and problems that come your way. While you are apart, the primary focus should be on how to build your bond so that it lasts a lifetime.
Be Honest And Open In All Things
It is a known fact that distance can lend imagination wings. Things that are actually not an issue can become an issue if you are not clear in explaining or communicating things. For example, it is quite common for one person to be stressed out or pre-occupied, and for the other person to become paranoid wondering what went wrong.
From that point on, there will be a mountain made out of a mole hill, and all of a sudden the relationship will begin to develop cracks in it, out of nothing. Therefore, this is a two-way process to make things work. First and foremost, be clear in how you communicate things and what you communicate. Do not expect the other person to read between the lines and understand what you are trying to say.
If you can’t say it clearly, don’t say it – wait up for a point of time when you are probably less stressed out and you can be clear. On the other hand, do not read between the lines and try to imagine things that may never have happened, if for some reason your loved one seems to be unable to be clear about a particular point of discussion. Simple, clear and honest communication will help keep your relationship strong even if you are apart.
Plan To Meet Up And Spend Quality Time With Each Other
Long distance relationships do not need to become relationships where you never meet up. Plan to meet up periodically and spend quality time with each other. While emotions can be high and you would love to just hang around all the time with your loved one, it would be wiser to plan a practical schedule.
If you are meeting up for a few days, plan your expenses and your time together to a certain extent. Meeting up should not be a drain on your resources. Rather, it should be a point of time where you get to further seal your bond together, and build memories that will help keep your relationship strong – no matter how far apart the two of you are.