Friendship is the only relationship which we choose and are not endowed with by birth. Right from childhood, we are drawn towards people who cast an impression upon us. They might be people who are like-minded, who share similar choices or opinions about things in life or plainly compatible.
On the contrary, at times we come across people totally different from us from head to toe, but still they strike a chord with us. Indeed, friendship is the most cherished, most transparent and the most open bond one shares with a person not related with blood. Having great pals who are selflessly always there for us and who we can count upon in even the darkest hours of the night is the best gift life can bestow us with. But with joy comes sorrow too and with friendship comes break up too.
Plenty of times things don’t work out the way we want them to in friendships. While at times we pick wrong people to be friends with other times right people go wrong under not-so-right circumstances. Sometimes, everything is right but the only ingredient lacking is compatibility or understanding. Whatever the reason might be, but there would hardly be a person in this world who hasn’t been through an awful tiff with his or her friends.
Indulging into clashes or arguments is very natural but what is it that leads to two people never even turning towards each other again? And in case you do go through a break up in friendship what exactly is it that you can do to salvage the relationship or at least your dignity? If you are someone who has recently lost her good buddy or your friendship is going through a thorny path, having a look at the mentioned pointers might make a difference.
Tips to Tackle A Break Up In Friendship
Evaluate the Situation Unprejudiced
As soon as we get into a brawl with a buddy, the first thing which plagues us is lack of reasoning. Often we let ourselves be possessed by our angst which switches our logic button off. Such are the times for us to not be carried away rather give a fodder of thought to what exactly went wrong. Do not be driven by pre-conceived or partial notions against the other person. Try and analyse the situation with an objective approach.
This is the most important aspect of dealing with rough patches in any relationship. When we are upset we tend to shirk off the blame and hold the other person entirely responsible for the crisis. But the thing we all overlook is that if we are hurt or offended, so is our friend.
Blindfolded by our untamed and irrational anger, we forget to shut our eyes for a minute, vacate our mind and simply go over the scheme of things once again just to find out if we disrespected or offended the other person unintentionally or intentionally by our speech or conduct in any way.
Keep Your Ego Aside
The most common behavioural pattern reflected by friends after a rift is to wait for the other person to apologize and make the first call. It is this ego which allows tiny ruptures in relationships to turn into beyond repair wounds which could have easily heeled had any one of the two warring entities bothered to initiate brushing his or her ego aside.
Don’t Influence Other Friends
Generally when a fight breaks out between two friends belonging to the same ‘group’ or friend circle, there is a collateral damage which inflicts upon other buddies as well. There is a negative energy which pervades the atmosphere and the entire group of friends gets divided. In such situations, the onus of maintaining sanctity and an equilibrium in the entire bunch falls on the two people aloof.
We all tend to garner support and come out clean in such situations but when there are other close pals involved, try not to segregate the group by putting the other person in the spot. Moreover, distancing yourself from the other friends is not a solution as well. If you get into an altercation with some body, don’t let others bear the brunt of your personal issues.
Another tip for friends turned foes is to abstain from tacky and cheap tactics of backbiting and bitching. Girls are often found venting out their ire and frustration on their opponents by swearing and hurling abuses against them. This is not how a decent and sensible woman is expected to behave.
You may be full of grudges and qualms against your offender but stick to a basic level of decency and never breach that line of self esteem. Even if the other person is taking pot shots at you, tell yourself not to stoop down to his or her level. Maintain dignity in the eyes of people around you and as well as in your own.
In case all your attempts at salvaging the relationship or burying the hatchet are rendered useless and there is no other way but to snap the ties, you are advised to act maturely and move on. There is no point harbouring hard feelings against anyone and the best way to go is the way forward.
Forgiveness is the biggest emancipation and you can shed all the heaviness off your heart by simply forgiving the friend who no longer remains so. Do not get into childish activities of returning gifts or putting accusatory statues on your Facebook profile. Leave behind what you had in the past and look forward to what you can have in the future.
Do Not Hide the Smile
Finally, all said and done, the last thing which remains on the card is if you ever bump into the person who once used to be your mate, do not let him or her pass without flashing a smile. It definitely takes a great amount of courage to do so and you might not really get that familiar smile in return but one thing you will certainly get in return is satisfaction. After all who knows a warm smile might bring back the old warmth in cold relations.
So, it is not only a romantic break up which requires you to take certain things into consideration, a friendship turned sore may also command a few measures from your end.