There are many purposes behind every purpose we pursue. But, if the decision we pursue in our life is solely relied on ego-centric perspectives, then we would end up experiencing a difficult time ahead. While clearly, there are many psychological reasons that contributes to the consecutive conflicts that takes place in the life of the person.
Well, marital conflicts are not exempted from this. Couples normally fight about mere superficial things like career oriented issues, in-laws related issues, house works etc.
However, every problem sprouts out from the already sown negative seed. Indeed, the problems or the conflicts are the results of the cumulative sequences of the repressed angers. The higher the stress levels and deprivations, the couple would tend to be more vulnerable to the emotional and the psychological problems. The major contributors for the marital problems are:
Causes of Marriage Break Up
Inability to Cope With the Partner’s Needs
Obviously, the couples are born and brought up in different environments. Hence, their demands and the expectations too differ. In many scenarios, the life partners doesn’t possess the basic necessary cognition about the needs and likings of each other. In a general sense, a woman is likely to be resentful, defensive or critical when she feels that she is not protected enough or loved enough or deprived of something or given attention enough, by the person, whom she considers to be her prime relation in her life.
Whereas, a man is likely to be defensive or critical, when his ego is scratched with regard to his roles as a provider and lover. These can be quoted as the inner-needs that every man and a woman would invariably possess, which if not attended properly would lead to conflicting environment. Lack of sexual intimacy is also a major cause that devastates the marital bond. This problem, if persists, should have to be dealt with immediately. Proper counseling and therapeutic approaches would be of much use in this regard.
Extraordinary Expectations About the Marriage
The probable expectation that couples would have regarding their marriage is that there are never going to be any hindrances or obstacles in their path of happiness and the same old fairytale nature of their pre-marriage romance would continue. While confronting the everyday challenges of life, the romantic feelings would take the back seat.
Apart from that the expectations on the part of the life partner that they should be able to understand your feelings. The actual fact is that , just because they married you they cannot read your mind as such. Many find it too hard to digest this reality.
Boredom With the Relationship
There may be times when your relationship starts becoming lackluster. This may be due to the reason that you might have got used to him/her. That is, nothing more is left to explore with them, especially in psychological terms. Many times the disinterest may be due to the fact that both of you doesn’t have similar interests to share. Not having deeper attachment with each other may also lead to boredom in the relationship.
Personality Mismatch or Incompatibility
If the extreme two personalities met together in the process of marriage, marital discord is likely to happen. Supposing, a person who is aggressive and have callous attitude towards his/her spouse, enters into a marital knot with a person, who is perceived to be tender minded, certainly there would be a mismatch in their attitude.
The later one would be pressured to enter into a situation where he/she needs to bend over backwards, so as to get along with their spouse. In this process, they need to lose many of their parts of life. This in turn would create a void in their mind and they would lose the very reason and interest to pursue their life with their so called spouse. Normally, incompatible partners resort to a whole lot of conflict and they often become contemptuous with each other. The main reason for this irresolvable conflict is that they initiate their life with incompatible values and goals. This real differences in values and goals leads the couple to take two different directions, which triggers their mental conflicts.
Lack of Loyalty or Infidelity
Marriages today are far more likely to end in divorce, nowadays. The reason being that, unreliability and lack of loyalty prevails in the relationship. If the couples strongly intends to keep the relationship going, then they should loyal to each other. Disloyalty arises where there is emotional detachment.
If there exists a true love, that would definitely close the door for the new one to come in. If the proper intimacy is not prevailing between the couples and if they are not ready to sacrifice anything from their part to preserve that relationship, then extra marital affair can easily penetrate into the relationship.
Lack of Passion and Intimacy
It is quiet obvious that the level of cuddling, kissing and the sharing of the beautiful moments together would be decreased in the gradual phase of time, in comparison to the early days of marriage or the memorable days when the couples fell in love with each other. If so, the reason has to be explored and the problem has to be rectified.
If not, the levels of disagreements and finding faults in all issues are likely to be escalated. This is because of the fact that all the frustrations and disappointments of the mind would be dumped in the subconscious mind. The repressed needs, desires and expectations would find some other means to come out. This finally bursts out as anger, resentment and incompatibility.
Lack of Adequate Communication
Without proper communication, the couples can never feel complacency in their relationship. In case, if any conflict arises, the issues are needed to be opened up in an overt manner. This process would diminish the resentment and dissonance. Whereas, the suppressed anger may further deteriorate the bond and intimacy between the couples. Moreover, the improper communication seldom assures one another, in the life long relationship. Thus unresolved anger, grief and conflicting issues causes the relationship to meltdown.
In short, these problems are not irretrievable ones. Proper conditioning of the mind and adequate mental effort or exertion can easily wipe off these challenges. However, the indifferent attitude towards these problems may aggravate the feelings of frustration and alienation.