When people get into a relationship, they do so with expectations of a life-long emotional support system. People get into relationships hoping for a soulmate, for someone who understands them, who appreciates not only the good in them, but is also comfortable with their darker sides. Most people are innate, hard-core romantics who wish to fall in love and get into a relationship and “live happily ever after”.
However, the reality is not so rosy and pleasant. Many relationships backfire on myriad different accounts. Sometimes people realize they made a mistake in recognizing their life partner, sometimes they change or their partners change, sometimes issues that they thought they could avoid/handle become looming devils that cannot be overlooked anymore, and sometimes they simply fall out of love.
But the most disturbing and depressing aspect of a relationship is when they turn abusive and ultimately break down on that account. An abusive relationship entails the most pyschologically traumatic experiences ever. Furthermore, abusive relationships are ensnaring and it is difficult to get out of them.
Here is a complete guide of the steps that you must take to get out of an abusive relationship and get back your self confidence and happiness thereafter –
Tips To Deal With Abusive Relationship
Confront Your Partner
The very first step in dealing with an abusive relationship will be to stand up to your abuser. Most victims of relationship abuse tend to lose their self-confidence, the power of retaliation and the ability to stand up for their rights. However, this is one instance for which you must muster your courage and confront your partner. Bring the issue out in the open, and let them know in very clear terms that you cannot allow such behaviour to continue further and that if they continue, you would not be averse to taking serious actions.
Once you do confront your partner, do not hesitate to give them one chance to apologize, if they attempt to do so. If they apologize and if your gut feeling tells you they might sincerely make efforts to change, give them a last chance. Else, proceed to the next step.
Walk Out Of The Relationship
If your partner exhibits no signs of remorse and makes only fake and half-hearted attempts to appease you, walk out of the relationship as soon as possible. If they try to use brute force to prevent you from doing so, contact a close friend or family member, tell them everything about the problem and ask them to approach the police.
Do not hesitate to take strict measures like these. Do not feel unnecessarly soft hearted for your partner. An abuser who does not even regret deserves no pity. Never be reluctant to break up on account of reasons like children, societal shame, financial dependence etc.
Nothing should count more than one’s right to live a life of dignity. None of the aforementioned issues are unresolvable so do not waver from taking the right decision on their account.
Take Legal Action
Complain to the appropriate authority. Do not try to evade the issue. An abuser deserves the punishment prescribed by the law of the land. Do not falter in fear of publicity. It is not only logical to complain, but it is also your moral responsibility to expose a criminal and prevent others from falling into the same pit that you did.
Contact a lawyer and file a case in the court. Do not give up halfway. Do not settle with anything less than the punishment rightfully due to your wrongdoer.
Indulge In Yourself
Once the nightmare of a bad relationship and the hassles of the court are done and over with, indulge in yourself. Make up for all the years spent in being subjected to mental and physical abuse. Make up for all the lost self confidence and the suppressed self respect. Make up for all the years of suffering.
Spend some time alone or with your closest friends and family, depending on your mood and choice at that point of time. Go for a vacation, engage in peace-inducing activities like meditation, yoga, and other spiritual activities. Treat yourself to your favorite food, your favorite movies and so on.
Give yourself complete freedom to do whatever you want to. Do everything that makes you happy. Make conscious efforts to revive your positiveness. Before going back to the remaining part of the struggle, strive to establish your mental tranquility.
Get Things Straight
Naturally things will not arrange themselves perfectly as soon as you get out of your relationship. The big part of the struggle is over but what lies ahead will take a lot of guts and hard work. You will have to work on your mental peace, your physical health, and if any, your children. If you are not financially independent, you will have to hunt for a suitable job as well.
All this while, it is important to remember that if you have the will, you will find a way. Do not lose hope and never let yourself feel that things won’t be fine again. Be strong and take care of yourself. Make yourself believe that the worst is over, which indeed, is absolutely true.
Do Not Turn Into A Commitment Phobic
A major fall-out of abusive relationships is that the former victims become averse to romances. It is a natural case of “once bitten, twice shy”.
However, hesitating to date someone on a short notice is a completely different thing from blocking oneself from all chances of ever dating again. Do not do yourself such a grave injustice. Do not generalize and imagine that merely because one relationship turned out to be sour, every other one will bring similar hurt and distress. Again, do not go recklessly looking for another (better) partner. Be patient and cautious, not averse or desperate.
Meet people from the opposite sex and be open to dating again. If you find a person who you think can make you happy and vioce versa, do not hesitate to get into a relationship because of a bad past. Learn to forget and move on to the brighter and better things in life.