Relationships are a very important part of our lives. A couple’s relationship is one of the most delicate yet the most important relationship. Couples relationship counseling is also known as marital therapy or marriage guidance. In this both the individuals known as a couple are guided together.
The counselor does not treat the two individuals as two distinct personalities but as one. Sometimes, a partner may request separate counseling due to comfort level.
In such cases the counselor can decide what the best solution is as each couple is different. A couple needs counseling due to various reasons and factors. Some of the main reasons are:
• When they are too busy at work and have no time for each other. This takes a toll their on their relationship.
• They can’t speak to each other about their differences
• A couple feels that divorce is the only solution out
• Endless arguments take place between the couple which generates more anger and frustration
• Any secret kept by one partner which the other partner has come to know from other persons
In the above situations a partner should take counseling. This may save the couple’s relationship and the same relationship can become beautiful and something which you tend to look forward to after a hectic and tiring day. When a couple is being counseled they are told to do a number of things by a counselor. All these things have to be done by the couple and sometimes the counselor also asks you for a feedback in your next session.
Ways to Make Couples Relationship Counseling Work
Spend Quality Time
The most important factor in today’s relationship is time. All of us are so engrossed and busy in our lives that we forget to spend quality time with each other. It is very important to spend quality time with each other, share our thoughts, discuss and plan things. Without spending quality time we cannot know about each others thoughts and feelings. This leads to misconceptions and misunderstandings. Hence, it is of utmost importance to spend quality time with your partner to know him better.
Don’t Fake Yourself
It is very important to be your natural self in a relationship. Do not fake yourself or your feelings. Show your genuine love for your partner and be your natural self. Do not hide your feelings or your resentments.
It is important to discuss how you feel about certain things and on things you disagree rather than hiding those from your partner. By hiding your natural self you are making your relationship weak. By hiding your real self from your partner you are just not helping your relationship grow. So, just be yourself.
A Give and Take Relationship
Any strong relationship is always built on compromise. Both the partners have to compromise on certain points. You need to comfort your partner and give him security. A good relationship needs to have give and take equally from both the partners. A relationship will never work if one partner is always compromising while the other is not. This will be one of the reasons for arguments and fights. Therefore, a counselor will always advice both the partners to give in as much they can to their relationship and just not keep expecting from your respective partners.
Punishing your Partner does not Help
If you decide to punish your partner for his wrong doing it will not help you in any way. It might make you feel better by giving him a hard time but it will not have an affect on him any he will be more resolved to irritate or poke you further. If is better to ignore what you don’t like and do what pleases you. This is a better way to handle things and situations which do not work your way.
Accept your Partner the Way He is
There are a few characteristics which you may not like about your partner and would want to change it. You should not keep pestering him about those instead you should accept the fact that he is not going to change and be the way he is. You should take it on yourself and see if you would tolerate it if he kept talking about those habits of yours which he does not like.
Learn to Forgive and Forget
It is very important to forget each others mistakes and bad behaviors of the past. Give each other a break and the required space for a while. Start again fresh by forgiving and forgetting all about the past. It is very important to move from the past and accept the changes. A counselor will always tell you to talk about the past, resolve your differences, forget them and then start your relationship a fresh. It shall be a new beginning.
Counseling is very important and probably is the only thing that can save a couple from being separated. Counseling helps a couple to recognize their problems and helps them to deal with it. Spending time helps you to communicate with each other and this solves a lot of problems. These days’ couples are very busy at their work places and this causes a communication gap between them.
Any couple taking counseling should do as they are being told by the counselor and if they make a special effort themselves they will be able to save their relationship and soon find happiness in it. Along with doing what the counselor is telling you to do a special effort by the couple to save their relation is like an icing on the cake.
A relationship which once used to scare you will now be something which you will eagerly be looking forward to. It is very important to start your counseling sessions with a positive approach than to have a negative one. A positive approach makes things easier for you while a negative one makes things harder for you. A couple counseling helps you to rebuild your relationship. If your relationship cannot rebuild again then you can move forward in your life with less hatred and hostility.