A relationship is a journey on a path which is beset with roses as well as thorns. People who are seeing someone encounter numerous quagmires in the course of their relationship. Their partner may turn out to be completely different from what he was before commitment, he may start two-timing them, he may lose interest out of the blue, or worse still, he may turn out to be abusive and violent.
These are just few of the commonplace reasons why relationships often start to move downhill. Very often a person may not be be able to deal with such major problems all on their own and may require help, support, guidance and counseling. And when times like these strike a person, everyone in their social circle is ready with tips and suggestions of their own.
In such situations, whose relationship advice should you follow and whose words had best be ignored? Who should you seek out for help with your relationship problems? Here’s a list of the sources you should resort to for relationship advice, depending upon the circumstances and the suitability –
Tips To Get Help In Relationship
There’s nothing stronger than the ties of blood. If you are strong enough to any member of your immediate or extended family – maybe your mother, your sister, your cousin, your brother – it could do your relationship a whole lot of good to consult and discuss your problems with them.
The primary advantage of taking help from family members, especially those to whom you are absolutely close and whose love and loyalty for you is unquestionable, is that there is never any doubt that they wish well for you. Furthermore, older family members are generally more experiences, weathered and more practical in their approach to any issue and give hard-headed, solid advice.
However, not everyone can take recourse to this option as more often than not, people are hesitant to share details of their romantic lives with family members. Especially in backward cultures and homes, such topics are considered off-limit and taboo.
This is the most common resort of most people stuck in relationship issues. Regrettably, this is also the most dangerous ones. For the first, it is quite difficult to distinguish between who is your well wisher and who is not. Some people give suggestions and advice only for the sake of formality and do not really put much thought into what they say. At times, their insecurity may lead them into giving absolutely the wrong kind of advice. Again, sometimes your so-called “friends” may flood you with advice only for the sake of having something to gossip about.
Of course, if you are able to distinguish between whom to approach and whom to not, if you are able to filter out the real friends from the fake ones, nobody can help you better. Being more relate-able in terms of age, experience and viewpoints, they will be able to understand you and help you better than your family. Furthermore, they may be acquainted with your partner and help you mutually resolve issues with them. Approach your friends for help only when you are completely certain that they truly are your friends!
People often tend to look up problems that they are facing in their relationships, and sometimes even in their life in general, on the internet. The web has numerous advice and discussion forums, websites and blogs which are full of real-life accounts and tips.
However, relying completely on the internet for important, relationship oriented issues would be a huge and irrevocable blunder. While something useful may come out of surfing for hours and hours over the internet, there are a number of risks involved too.
Many of the sites and authors may be giving tips of their own accord, without much prior knowledge or experience. Again, there is no lack of pranksters on the web, who are out to have their share of fun by giving all the wrong suggestions to people who are trapped and troubled. It is always better to go for second, and preferably even third opinions, especially when the first opinion has been derived from the internet!
Whether or not you should opt for professional assistance of counselors and advisers to deal with your relationship issues, is a matter of uneding debate and dilemma. The advantage is that a professional has been educated in this respect and does not give generalized guidance. Usually, they make an in depth study of your situation and your personality and accordingly arrive at suggestions that they deem are most suitable. They also have experience in dealing with many people who were similarly troubled and can give more re-assuring advice.
Furthermore, sometimes one feels more comfortable talking to strangers than to people whom they know and are close to, because there is no fear of judgments and accusations. However, the downsides are aplenty too. When money comes into the picture, sincerety towards the profession often takes a backseat.
Psychiatrists, counsellors etc often charge exhorbitant fees and come up with the kind of generalized guidance that any other stranger on the street might have easily given! Furthermore, they are not associated through any close bond of love to the person and hence may not give their hundred percent into understanding the situation, empathizing with their client and giving whole-hearted advice.
Professional assistance should be opted for only when the matter is way out of the hands, when neither the internet nor any friends or family are able to provide any sort of solace. Also, great discretion and care must be exercised when choosing which psychiatrist/counsellor to go to. A thorough background and track record check is an absolute must before you put this crucial an issue in the hands of a stranger.
However, always remember that the best advice comes from your own heart. While being besieged with advice and suggestions from every nook and corner, do not neglect your own instincts and intuition. If there is one person you can trust completely and blindly, it is you yourself. Hence, pay heed to what everyone else says but guide your actions primarily by what you yourself feel about the situation.