With the internet spreading far and wide, online dating is definitely on the rise. On one hand online dating allows you to interact with a man situated anywhere in the world as long as he or she is compatible with you, but on the other hand it also carries with it a lot of risks and uncertainty!
If you are a woman who has just got in touch with a man online, what precautions should you take? Here are some important tips to keep in mind.
Online Dating Tips for Women
Address the Elephant in the Room
The elephant in the room refers to the big problem that is not talked about in a conversation because it may embarrass the other person. When you are dating a man online, there is definitely an element of distrust that is initially there. But you will naturally hesitate to mention this to the other person! This distrust that you hesitate to talk about is the elephant in the room.
If you want to have a successful online dating experience, you need to talk about your fears of online dating with your potential partner. In the initial days, as you feel attracted towards the other person, tell him about your fears of online dating and your trust issues. Ask him if he has similar trust issues with you.
It is very likely that the other person will also have these fears and he will be relieved when you mention your own fears to him. Just addressing the fears you both associate with online dating, together, will immediately clear the air and help you both connect. Expressing your fears and concerns and not hiding them from your dating partner will build trust and this is very important when both partners are interacting online.
Clarify Any Suspicions
Yet another common issue with online dating is that you may suspect things about your potential partner simply because you can’t be around him in real life. For instance, if he doesn’t keep a date commitment, you may start thinking that this person might have been lying to you all along. Or, if the other person refuses to video chat with you, you may start suspecting that he may have something to hide.
Do not blame yourself for these suspicions. These suspicions are absolutely valid because you have not yet met the other person in real life. However, what is not OK is keeping the suspicions to yourself and not sharing them with the other person. If you are looking for a genuine relationship in the future, go ahead and share all your suspicions in a polite way with your partner.
Let go of the fear that your potential partner will form a poor impression of you if you suspect him. The best relationships result from clear communication right from the start – and so every fear needs to be properly addressed during the earlier days. If you feel that the man you are dating is hesitant or is blatantly lying, reconsider your decision to date him. As a woman, trust your intuition and gut feeling and be open to saying no to someone who does not ‘seem correct’ for you.
Don’t Commit Yourself Before Meeting
Despite not seeing the other person in real life, it is easy to fall in love online. This happens because not being able to meet the other person makes our minds paint ideal pictures of the other person. So, for instance, after just 4-5 chats, you may find yourself drawn to a man almost irresistibly thinking of him as the one for you.
In such situations, be cautious. No matter how charming your prince seems to be, do not involve yourself deeply in the relationship before meeting him. What you imagine about a person online can be very, very different from how a person is in real life. If you commit yourself too soon, you will definitely run the risk of receiving a rude shock when you actually meet the person.
Important point: first meet and only then let your guards down.
Be Honest and Demand Honesty
Online dating comes with its temptations and both you and your potential partner may succumb to them. The most common temptation when dating online is to lie and impress the other person. You may be obese in real life, but you may hide or deny this fact online. You may exaggerate some of your physical characteristics or lie about your past. The other person may do the same.
Well, do remember that no long term relationship was ever built on a foundation of lies – no matter how impressive they may seem. Even if you are very tempted to present a favorable impression to the other person, don’t do it. Be brutually honest instead. Right at the start of the relationship, talk to your potential partner about honesty. Tell him that you will be honest with him and request him to share all his flaws with you. In fact, a good way to start off the relationship and test the waters is to have a ‘flaws’ session. In this session, both of you can admit your weaknesses to each other without fear of judgement.
Sometimes, admitting your weaknesses to the other person can turn him off. Be OK with this fact and realize that that is actually a good thing. If the other person cannot accept you as you are, he is definitely not a good fit for you. It is OK to then move on and find a man who can accept your flaws. This person may be hard to find, but once you find him, it is with this person that you will happily be able to spend the rest of your life.
Meet as Soon as You Get Serious
This might seem like being overtly cautious but do make sure you turn your online experience into a real life one as soon as you start getting serious about the relationship. While your man might be honest and truly in love with you, it is also true that there are way too many men out there who only want to have fun.
As soon as you feel like you can look at something long term with the other person, take the initiative and arrange for an in person meeting. If the other person is also serious, he will definitely want to meet up as well. An in person meeting can build a lot of trust, create happy memories and take the relationship to a whole new level.
If you find the other person hesitating to meet in person, that is definitely a cause of concern. Ask him why he is hesitating and discuss the situation. In many online relationships, people are hesitant to meet in person because they think that this will spoil the ideal image that they have formed online. If you or your partner has this thought in mind, do realize that you will have to break those ideal images and be real one day – and the earlier that day comes, the better.
While I have mentioned so many precautions with respect to online dating, it is also true that a lot of men and women genuinely fall in love, have wonderful relationships and even get married after dating online. I am myself one such example because I met my wife online and today we are happily married.
What is important is to take it slow, to be cautious and to be honest right from the start.