Human beings are social animals, for they need to be interdependent on each other, so as to fulfil their basic physiological needs, social needs, moral needs, emotional needs and other psychological needs. We affiliate ourselves with others and thereby create relationships. Infact, our relationships helps us to feel more secure and enables us to find our identity in the society. However, relationships are not so soothing as we expect. The failure of the relationships are frequently witnessed nowadays.
Reasons For Failure Of The Relationship
There are so many reasons that actively contributes to the failure of the relationships. They are,
Improper or non-communication creates all the relationship problems. If the communication is conveyed in one way and it is misinterpreted in some other way then the reality becomes obscure.
There are some people, who are too expressive and tend to reveal their feelings immediately, whereas, the other category of the people tend to suppress their emotions and feelings. If this extremeties prevails in a relationship then there are definite chances for the problems to pop up and hinder the positive aspects of the relationships.
Too Much Of Expectations
Normally we tend to expect too much from the others. We do expect unconsciously that our happiness and security is in the hands of the others and in a mysterious way others have control over your life and psychological needs.
Expecting others to react and respond in a manner we want to be, is highly impractical. This attitude certainly develops neurotic sort of tendancy in a person. Unsatisfied needs and expectations leads to unconscious hatredness in the person. Ultimately, this state of mind results in conflicts.
Life is all about give and take. Unfortunately, self-centeredness exists commonly in almost all the relationships. Obviously, it is an unappealing personality trait. People who lacks the sense of compassion and empathy would tend to possess the negative characteristic trait of self-centeredness. One should be able to infer the other person’s perspective.
Recalling The Bitter Past
We distort our perception of reality by giving much emphasis to our irretrievable past. Ofcourse, in one way people can get in touch with the old feelings that they keep reinforcing is to become aware of feelings that seem inappropriate in the particular situation. Otherwise, a person who has not gained enough inner support, feels a compulsive need to collect the bitter past experiences.
Struggling With The Inner-Conflicts
Different people are born and brought up in different psycho-social environments. So their genetic influences, the moral values that are inculcated in their tender minds during their childhood phase by their care givers, the negative experiences they encounter among the peer groups etc., would have developed a mental network in them, which confines their thought process within that. People not only incorporate their parents’ behavior, but they also incorporate their parental messages that they heard since their childhood. If the new relationships differ with them in some way or the other, then the concerned person’s inner-conflict is likely to arise.
So what are the possible ways to fix these relationship issues.….? We should try to understand that healing the broken relationships starts from us. If we accept and correct our pitfalls then the environment would automatically be corrected. So self-introspection is an inevitable part in fixing the relationships.
Tips To Fix The Relationship
Understand The Root Cause Of The Problem
As the first and foremost step, try to analyse the root cause of the problem. This understanding of the true cause of the problems enables one to eliminate it with a permanent fix rather than persisting the problems with the same symptoms. Superficial view of the problems and conflicts may not reveal the exact picture. Infact, people are often aware of only parts of themselves rather than of the whole self. This analysis of the root cause enables one to become aware of, to reclaim and integrate their lacking traits.
Discuss The Problematic Issues With An Open End
Always be ready to discuss the controversial topic with an open end, which means that you are not suppose to judge the issues in pre-determined and rigid ways. Whosoever you have differed with, it doesn’t matter, as long as you are ready to heed to their justifications.
Their justifications might not be fair at times. However, by this way you are enabling them to vent out their suppressed anger. This process would mitigate the negative repercussions of the simmering environment. Also, share your thoughts and point of views together. You try to convince the other person about how you feel and accept his/her concern.
Learn The Right Way To Exhibit Your Love
It is not enough to feel love and affection for the concerned person. Rather you should learn the art of expressing the love that you possess in a proper manner. Try to understand that a true love is a respite from the everyday mental stresses, which evokes aggressive behaviours.
You need not react to the stimulus, in the exact way as expected by the other person. For example, if the person to whom you are contending with, may tend to provoke you. His unconscious intention is to harm you psychologically and make you angry. You need not be reactive in these circumstances. Rather, try to be proactive. This explicitly would showcase your mental maturity. This prevents many serious repercussions. Thereby, you are enabling the concerned person, to whom you are differing with, to introspect himself/herself.
Don’t Expect “Wholeness” From The Human Beings
It is obvious that human beings are imperfect and ofcourse, constantly they are striving to attain perfection. So don’t ever expect the ideal personality from anybody. Try to digest the imperfections of the fellow beings and accept them as they are. Indeed, those who are seeking perfection in others and themselves, would definitely be disappointed. So try to be kind and lenient to others.
Be Flexible In Your Demands
Make others to feel comfort with you. Be soothing and don’t hesitate to take their stand, if needed. Over rigidity and firmness would break the relationship. Refrain from the ego-centric views. Remember the fact that true love and sacrifice can conquer anything in this world.
Be Always In A Learning Phase
Try to be in a learning phase always. See the big picture. Life often poses problems and challenges so as to give some messages. Try to interpret the important lessons that you have learned in the so called challenges and problems. Master the interpersonal skills. Human mind is too vast to learn, infact. However, you can master the skills of dealing successfully with the other people.
So finally, the inner-self has to be elevated. Even if you happen to encounter the challenging personalities in your life, you could easily be able to handle them in a successful manner, provided your “self” is strong.