Apologizing to your girlfriend might not be as simple as it sounds. Especially, with no fault of your own!
Yea, you read it right!
For relationships to sustain the long haul, it is often important to adjust, but not in a harmful manner. In no way, you must bring about a change in your personality, unless it is obnoxious.
While you might have forgotten her birthday, or have just had a fight with her, it is always best to appease her at the earliest.
In a relationship, if you apologize first, it is not a defensive approach to life. Instead, you are being matured enough to save your relationship.
This article explores some of the coolest ways how you can save your relationship, by apologizing in the right way.
Before we delve into the right ways to appease your love, it is important to understand what could be the major causes of the misunderstanding.
It is better you read through them, as often we don’t comprehend, the mistake we might be committing on a repetitive basis.
What causes rifts in any relationship?
Rifts in relationships can be attributed to numerous reasons. Often, not chewing up the man-pride is the key reason. Let us look into the top 5 reasons why relationships become victims to arguments.
1. Listening to reply, not to respond:
We are programmed in such a way that we believe every word deserves a reply. This leads to an altercation of words and leading to miscommunication.
Relationships need to ensure that response is a better form of communication instead of replying. If you are stuck in an altercation, it is better that you listen to the other person, to understand, and not merely to reply.
2. Delaying the ‘talk’:
You need to get the elephant out of the room. Just avoiding the conversation is not going to help either of you. Instead, it is better to have the conversation at the earliest. You should not let the conversation slip on to the next ‘right time’. It is important to understand that the right time for every difficult conversation is now.
3. Lacking empathy:
As per research, more than 50% of the relationships have conflicts, and that has helped in strengthening the relations. But, the lack of empathy in conflicts often results in the arguments turning into something serious. It might even result in the relationship getting spoilt if the empathy from the relationship dies out.
Relationships have often faced numerous misunderstandings over time. Often, thoughtlessness in terms of the verbatim and cursing in relationships has claimed the health of relationships. With close to 30% of couples accepting that relationships are failing due to thoughtlessness, it is time we think more before we respond during the altercations.
5. Financial worries:
This is the problem that lasts in the top 10 causes of failure of relationships. Claiming more than 50% of the relationships, financial worries need to be addressed in the most legitimate way. Look out for jobs, not only for yourself but also for your partner to become the next power couple in 2021.
Knowing the right tricks to mend the relationship:
Conflicts are very common in every relationship. But, if the apology is delayed, then it is denied. One of the common mistakes during this era of smartphones and digital technology is using them to apologize after a fight.
Never apologize over a text
Apologies should be only done over face-to-face meetings.
Let us look into the top 5 ways using which you can strengthen your relationship once again.
i. Be ready for answering questions:
Once you decide to apologize, you need to have the answers to the questions ready with you. Apologizing need not only mean simply say sorry, but it is also about telling what you thought, which led to the misunderstanding. Answering the questions will also help her to know her thought process, which might prevent any such situations further as well.
ii. The gesture works better than words:
Simply saying sorry might not work out successfully. It is important to keep in mind that love should be such that it keeps alive every day, and not fade away with time. Gestures like soft toys, letters, gifts can often be the right way to express your guilt for crossing the line.
iii. Acknowledging her:
Often sentences like,
“I understand how you are feeling. You have all the right to be upset. I will work upon myself the next time”
Statements like these not only give an assurance to your girlfriend but also portray that you are genuinely upset about the situation. Validating her feelings is important for the long sustenance of the relationship.
iv. Don’t forget to miss the word:
Make sure you say the word ‘sorry’ as you apologize. You might not realize but the word has a bigger impact as your love will take note of it as well.
Apologizing at the right time is very important. If you know that you have hurt her, and you need to work on it, apologize to her at the earliest.
Say to her that you are sorry. It might just save your relationship at the right time, instead of complicating the situation, any further.
5. Give her the chance to speak:
You need to hear her side of the story as well. A greater part of an apology is to understand what the other person felt and how you can put some effort into correcting it.
Giving your girlfriend the chance to speak such that she can express her feelings about the situation is an integral part of the apology. You can also bring a nice gift while apologizing, as it will surely reduce the pain eventually!
No matter how many times you apologize, but if you are not taking the accountability of the relationship seriously, you might spoil the time of two people. It is important that couples who fight should not let the spark die out.
As it is said, the couples who fight more, even love a lot more. But, what matters the most is even though the relationship goes through ups and downs, if your relationships are genuine, you will sail through these mishaps eventually as well.